Ever since I became an adult, I’ve spent most holiday seasons with just a few people close to me. This past season was different. I spent the days on my own. It made me realize that with each passing year, the circle of people I get to be with seems to grow smaller. I remember earlier holidays being filled with messages and greetings from different people. Now, it doesn’t feel the same. The holidays still arrive the same way every year, but the way I experience them has changed.
Part of that change may come from the life I’ve settled into. For the past five years, I’ve had a job I was genuinely grateful for, especially because it allowed me to work from the comfort of my room. At first, it felt like a privilege. Over time, that setup also meant fewer everyday interactions, and I didn’t always notice how much my world had narrowed.
I’ve never been someone who naturally socializes, but I was lucky to form a few friendships in high school and college that helped me get through those years. I still appreciate them for that. At the same time, I’ve realized that I don’t connect with most of them in the same way anymore. Our interests have shifted, and sometimes it feels like I’ve quietly outgrown those spaces.
Still, I know I’m not getting any younger, but I also know I’m not done meeting people or finding connections that feel right. For now, I’m learning to be patient with where I am, and to look forward to the kind of holidays I hope to share with people who feel like home someday.
As the holidays came to an end, I spent New Year’s quietly. I watched a film I’d never seen before, while sipping a drink I’d been saving for months. It wasn’t anything extravagant, just my small and intentional way to mark the moment. Even in the quiet, it felt like a gentle reminder that the season isn’t about crowds or grand gestures. It’s about the little moments you choose to notice.
So, what did the last holiday season look like for you?
Love,
Jezelle
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